I've gone over a year without a full time job. I don't have a car, and my work history is such that my job opportunities are limited. I feel like a failure and am somewhat depressed. Really what is the point to struggling against the inevitable? There is not one person on this earth who loves me. I have no family, and I have no friends. If things were different, stable, I could say that improving myself so that if and when my daughters come back into my life, I'd have something I could be proud of to show them, but it doesn't look like I'll ever get the opportunity to do that. As much as I'd like to see my daughters again, at least they're being taken care of. I can't even be sure that I'd ever get the opportunity to anyway. There is just nothing to live for. Seriously. Why keep fighting.